I have been busy, and then I have been BUSY.
When I look at what I am busy with; the kinds of things that occupy my time, I doubt myself. I am usually busy with chores, housework, home school, blogging, and a myriad of other things that “seem to be important at the time”. I truly wish that I could be better as a mom. I wish that all I wanted tot do was teach my kids, love on them and spend every waking moment with them (and enjoy it).
Maybe you’re one of those mammas who sits on the floor with their youngsters, plays, reads books and talks in a high-pitched little girl voice. That is great.
No…I am not being facetious. I genuinely wish I could be that way. But, alas, that is soooooo not how God made me.
I would probably be mom who is yelling from the kitchen to pick up the mess. Unfortunately.
I have come a long way from being that overly anal and crazy mom who literally can’t stand a mess, and gets upset anytime there are toys on the floor (trust me…I still struggle with that).
Where is the balance to the busy day-to-day? WHAT is that balance?
Today I want to discuss the issue of busy-ness and maybe share with you my struggle at finding the balance.
I would also love to share with you what the “B-U-S-Y” stands for…wait for it…
Jack of All Trades
This year I had to let go of a lot of things. Not necessarily bad things, just too many things. You see, I am one of those who tends to say “yes” to everyone and everything. I always feel like I can “do that better”, or that I just need to be involved. However, this mindset has gotten me in trouble in many circumstances.
I don’t believe that being busy is bad. But I also don’t believe that you have to literally do nothing else except stay at home with your kids and only home school every day, either. There has to be a balance.
“A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.” -Benjamin Franklin
This is definitely my life! I may be a “jack of all trades”, but I often feel like I am not mastering any one thing. I don’t want to be that way. I would rather master a few things well, then be just ok at a whole lot of things.
I think that is where staying busy comes in for me. I enjoy having my plate full. I enjoy using my gifts. I enjoy working with my hands.
But what if I want to ENJOY getting down on the floor with my kids? Mastering being a mom? What if I truly desire to make my kids a priority in my day?
That for me is the struggle.
Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE my kids so much, and am incredibly blessed by them. But mothering does not come naturally for me. Work and being busy does.
So how I do balance the two? How do I master only a few things? This question has evaded me for many years now, and I don’t believe that it needs to be some deep and analytical thing. God has really showed me that being content is the simple answer.
Where I am in my life (the mommy stage) is OK. It’s ok to be frustrated at times. It’s OK to not have a handle on being that “perfect mom”. It’s ok to be overwhelmed.
I do believe that I have subconsciously used busy-ness to cope with my insecurities as a mom. Again, there is nothing wrong with being busy, but I have been convicted to realize that I don’t need to be THAT busy.
It’s OK to say no to things. It’s ok to rest. It’s ok to rest WITH your kids too!
Finding the Balance
After so many failures at balancing my time and my busy schedule, God has shown me so much. He has allowed me the grace to do as many as things I want, but now I have learned the beautiful word of “no”. It really has given me freedom to spend time with my kids, or to invest more into my husband and blessing him.
I have come a long way from the crazy schedules, plans and events that I was once part of. As much as I have enjoyed those things that kept me busy, I feel so much more at peace now that I have learned to say “no”.
I have learned that the important things in life wake up in the bedroom next to mine every morning. They call me mommy. They are the most important thing I can spend my time doing every day. They are my priority. THEY are what I want to master.
Work will come and go. Doing “stuff” will always be there. Spending my time being busy with “things” can always be done later.
But my kids are only with me for a short while. My oldest is only 10 years away from being a legal adult! My youngest is almost out of diapers! These are the years I need to cherish. these are the years that will go by so fast that I can’t even imagine!
These truths are something that I have to remind myself every day. It does not come easy for me, but I know that with God’s strength I will get through. With His strength, I will be able to invest in them and love on them every day. With His power, I can learn to MASTER these few precious blessings that He has given me.
With that being said… I can put my phone down for a few short hours every day and spend quality time with these wonderful little humans God has given me. I can sit on the floor with them and play a game. I can hold my baby girl for a little while and not feel guilty that there is laundry piled in the basket. I can go outside and watch my boys play, just because they want me to. I can sit at our dinner table and look around at these blessings that are mine and truly enjoy the silly conversions and the laughter.
These years are short.
So, I said I would reveal what B-U-S-Y stands for, here it is….
Being Under Satan’s Yoke.
I heard this phrase about 18 years ago, and it has never left me. I forget it more than I should, but it has always stood as reminder to me that being busy is not always a good thing.
Here are 3 tips that I have found to be very helpful in learning how to rest:
1. Say NO.
It is always easy to say yes to things and then later realize that you got in over your head. Saying no is not a bad thing. If you feel bad for saying no, than maybe say “I will think about it”. That way it will give you time to assess the responsibilities of that thing you almost said “yes” to.
2. Put down the social media.
This year, it is my goal to get rid of things that distract me from my kids. I know I can get rid of everything (especially since I run two blogs and create recipes on my computer), but I can be intentional about how I do those things. Putting down my cell phone is one of my most important goals. I make a point to not have my cell phone at the table when my family and I are eating. That really has helped to have meaningful conversations with my husband and kids when we eat.
3. Set aside time for you.
I know I have said this over and over. But, I believe so much in this point. You NEED to take care yourself first, so that you can give your energy to your family. If you are not rested and refreshed, how do you except to take care of anyone else? Rest mammas! Find time to be alone at least for a half an hour a day!
I pray that this post is encouraging to you! If you are not in the busy stages of mom-hood, and you still find yourself overly busy…use these tips to rest! If you are in the mom stage of life…you know exactly what I am talking about! It’s exhausting! But, allow yourself some grace. Allow yourself a time to rest.
Give yourself a break!