Your Husband-Your Gift

How to treat your husband like a king.

This post is actually not even really about sex. It’s about discovering a gift that you never knew you’ve always had!

Bear with me….

Some History

I did not always treat my husband like a king. I used to think that it was the stupidest concept I had ever heard of. I definitely have not always had the mindset that my husband was my gift, but I know that I have come a long way (with God’s help).

You see, when we first got married, I was headstrong and a little (or a lot) selfish. I believed that my husband was “supposed to” love me. That he was “supposed to” treat me like a queen, no matter how I treated him. Believe me when I say, I learned a hard lesson (or two hundred).

Now, my husband and I never have had a “horrible marriage”, we just were young and had not learned how to co-exist with another human in that intimate of a setting before. We learned a lot in our early years of marriage.

I used to be very disrespectful to my husband at times. It’s funny, because I look back at those times, and I used to not understand why he was being so “unloving” back to me. I have to laugh about it now, because it is so clear as to why. The problem was my heart.

Your Gift

Have you ever thought of your husband as your very own, personally picked, wonderful gift to you? Well, he is. He is your gift.

When I think of a gift that someone gave me (especially one that I liked), I think about the individuality of that gift. When you receive a gift that you love, you cherish it. You usually put it in a place of importance so that you don’t lose it. You take care of it, you protect it and usually, you don’t let anyone use it.

Let me use my 1971 Ford Bronco as an example (I am using my truck because it is my most prized possession ;)).

Even though it was a gift to myself, I have always loved it. For a long time, it was my daily driver. It was my constant companion on my camping adventures, my mechanic school experience and I just over-all, I really loved my truck! Every spare minute I had, I was tinkering on it, working on it (a lot, because it is old lol), washing it, doing body work on it, etc. It meant something to me. It was important to me.

How much more do our husbands mean to us? He is the man who God gave to you!!!

When you think about it, husbands “work their butts off” to provide for us and our kids. How many times do we thank them for that? Our husbands have the constant weight of providing for their family (that’s pretty stressful). That’s just how God made it though. Men have to work. How many times do we say that we are proud of them, and support them in their jobs or careers? Our husbands help with the kids, the house projects and many other things. How many times do we thank them? Really?

***I am not dismissing all the work that we do as moms and wives! We do a LOT for our families. Trust me…I do my share too! But, in this post, I am focusing on our husbands. Our “Gifts”. Stay with me!

Now, over the years, and lots of babies later, my poor Bronco is not looking so hot anymore. He has sat for a long time (with the exception of occasional summer drives into town). He is weathered, paint cracking, tires cracked and rotted, and the engine is in dire need of repair, etc.

My poor truck!

I didn’t mean for my truck to be neglected. I just got “distracted” and “too busy” with life to focus on taking care of it, or “showing love” to my ole’ truck.

bronco 2

The “four letter word” for Wives…

funny When we get “distracted” or too “busy” to take care of our husbands, to show them “love”; they get like my old truck. They get “weathered”, “cracked” and in dire need of “repair”.

I’m not saying that our husbands are “off the hook” for how they act. Definitely not!

But, our husbands can get defeated and discouraged so easily when we don’t support them and respect (submit to) them. When we don’t put the care and time into them that they need to function. Just like my old truck.

Submit: The “four letter word” for wives.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” Eph. 5:21-22

I used to hear this word and cringe (maybe like you just did). For a long time, it was a “four letter word” to me. I used to read this passage of Scripture and be like, “screw that! What about ME?” (I know, I was so rebellious, huh?).

But, if you look at the line BEFORE the “submit” part, you see that God tells us to “SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER out of reverence for Christ.” There is a mutual respect and submission to each other that has to take place.

This is such a simple concept that is often forgotten by us wives. We get too busy. We get too “distracted” with caring for the kids, housework, nursing babies, our own drama, etc. We get selfish with OUR needs and forget about THEIR needs.

It is time for us wives to CHOOSE to see the good in our husbands. To CHOOSE to serve them and encourage them, in whatever season of life they might be in. To CHOOSE to put them above ourselves!

What I have discovered is that men (my husband at least), are SO easy to please! They really are! It is so much more simple than we think!

Q & A Time

I am a curious kind of person. If you were to ask my husband how many times I ask him random questions, he would tell you, “A LOT!!!”. I’ve asked him so many different things about how he feels that he’s treated by me. He is usually very honest with me. I love that about him!

Here is a little example of some of the questions I asked him for this post, and his answers…

Me: “How do you feel most respected?”

Answer: “When my home is made a SANCTUARY for me. When everything is clean, neat and in order, as well as food prepared especially for me. I love your food!”

Me: “What is your favorite thing I do for you?”

Answer: “You take care of all my needs. You feed me, you affirm me…you know…”

Me: “If I could do anything in the world for you that would make you feel like King, what would it be?”

Answer: “It’s very simple. Men want to be respected, and thats it. A man feels respected when he is taken care of. When the house is made a sanctuary, where he comes to relax and decompress. Where his wife verbally affirms him, and his basic needs of food, sex and comfort are met. We’re pretty easy.”

See? Our husbands are actually really easy to please! They really are! I mean come on!

Here’s my translation…”Make your house cozy, feed them, affirm and encourage them, be excited about sex and be respectful.” Seems way too easy huh?

Some Ideas

All of this to say, we need to start treating our husbands like Kings! What would our homes look like, if we started treating them like a king? I would dare say, things would look (and feel) a lot different!

What usually happens is this-when you start putting them above yourself, all of your needs start “magically” being met! That’s how it worked for me! I started respecting him in word, action and deed. Man o man! When I started doing that without expecting anything in return…that man (my husband) started turning into a “Casanova”. 😉

Seriously though… they NEED to feel respected and supported. It’s a NEED!

So…maybe you don’t like this post…that’s ok. Maybe these things that I have said have “rubbed you the wrong way”…that’s ok. This stuff used to do that to me too. SHHHH…

So, here are some ideas on how to treat your husband like a king:

Encourage him in his work.
Make your home a sanctuary for him to come home to (when at all possible).
Tell him how attractive he is (you once were attracted to him. Remember?).
Cook special food and treats for him (this one works wonders!!!).
When he gets home from work, don’t nag him. Give him time to decompress.
Be excited about sex. Or better yet, initiate!
Make an effort to look attractive for him.
Do things together. Be excited about what he is excited about.
Encourage him to do things he loves (i.e. hobbies etc).
Make an effort to allow him to rest and relax in a non-messy environment.
Thank him.

Ok, I have way more to list, but I’ll just leave it there for now.

***I realize that life is not always so “Accommodating” to some of these ideas, so have grace on yourself if you can only do one or two. That’s ok! One step at a time! But, do these things without expecting anything in return. God will bless your efforts! Trust me. Been there, done that!

I just want to say, God has brought my husband and I very close to each other through the years. God has also taught me a lot about how to treat my husband, and how to make him feel respected. I am not perfect, but with God’s help I am able to show him respect and support in many different ways.

I see my husband truly as a gift that God gave me. That God gave ME! MY husband is MY gift.

Over the last few weeks, I have caught myself just staring at my him. I found myself in awe of who he is. He is not only super handsome (and studly), but he is a man of integrity. He is a strong leader, provider, protector and the best daddy in the world. I could not say enough about how thankful I am that he married me. I choose to see the GIFT that he is. I choose to see all that is good in him.

So, to conclude this post: If anything else, just encourage your husband! Be with him! Do things TOGETHER! Be supportive of him. Respect him. Love him. Serve him. You can do it!