Lets talk about Sex!

How to have Sex when you have a house full of kids…

Love-making is a ninja skill…

Ok, Raise your hands if you have tiny human tornadoes, created by yourself?

Kids. So precious. So wonderful. So…absolutely up in your “grill” 24/7. At least mine are.

I have 4. FOUR kids! Did I mention that? So, You can say that love-making is a ninja skill that my husband and I have perfected (at least we like to think we have).

There have been countless “oh crap” moments in our almost 11 years of marriage, where we should have planned better. But hey, sometimes those things just aren’t the top ‘things’ on your mind at the moment. There have been many times when we are just like, “really?!?, you have to ask a question through the door about why the sky is so blue, NOW?!?”

We’ve all been there. We all have had to sacrifice our love-lives for the good of the “chillins”. But, enough is enough! I say we take back SEX!

You NEED this…

Now, Let’s get this straight…Since I will most likely be bringing a bunch of this kind of stuff up (because I am very passionate about this subject-especially in Christianity), let’s just reiterate the fact that God created us to be sexual WITH OUR HUSBANDS. BIG emphasis on HUSBANDS. (If you’re not married and you are having sex…send me an email…I’d love to chat with you…no seriously;)

Back to the subject…

He has a NEED. It is legit. It took me years to understand this.

“Anyone who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.” -Robert Byrne

There’s nothing wrong with him. He just needs it. And I would argue, that YOU need it!

(If you ever need a good read on marriage and sex…check this out…https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/sexual-relations-in-marriage.)

Christian women often struggle giving themselves permission to be sensual within marriage and may need time to see it as a healthy part of who they are. “….May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits” (Song of Solomon 4:16, NASB). Women need to meditate on being a sexual creature and talk with other women who are further along in this journey to learn how they can embrace their sensuality. -Christiancrush.com

Sex is actually good for you, ladies! Here are 6 ways that SEX IS GOOD FOR YOU:

  1. Having sex can actually be considered a rather good form of exercise: A small study published in October 2013 in the journal PLoS One showed that men burned an average of 4 calories a minutes during sex sessions that averaged 25 minutes, and women burned off 3 calories. That’s a lot more fun than toiling away on a treadmill.
  2. Stanford University published a study on sex, to be a form of pain relief! Other studies have found that women may get some relief from menstrual crampsthrough a good orgasm.
  3. Sex can help relieve stress by raising endorphins and other hormones that boost mood. As a form of exercise, it can also help calm you down. In addition, a Scottish study published in the journal Biological Psychology found that sexual activity prevents increases in blood pressure during stressful events.
  4. According to the National Sleep Foundation, orgasms release the hormone prolactin, which can help you feel sleepy and relaxed. So don’t be too surprised if you and your partner doze off shortly after a satisfying session — and wake up feeling refreshed.
  5. Sex is a mood enhancer! It’s no wonder you’ve got a more positive outlook after sex: There are biochemical rationales for experiencing improved mood as a sex benefit, from the neurotransmitters that may be released during healthy sex to the mood enhancers contained in semen itself. -Dr. Sandra L. Caron Ph.D
  6. That fabled “morning after” glow? It’s not just your imagination; you really do look better after having sex. “Sex even helps you look younger,” says Caron. That glow can be attributed to a combination of stress relief, better mood, and the flush of blood under your skin that’s a natural part of the arousal process. Enjoying a healthy sex life is one of the great joys in life. Knowing intimacy could be a boon for your long-term health as well make it that much more pleasurable.

(Everydayhealth.com)

See! Isn’t that great!!!!!! Sex is soooooo good! Not to mention, that it’s just so good!

Here’s some tips…

So, with all that being said, here are some tips for those parents who just can’t wait until bed time to “get the groove on”….

5 tips to help you make the most out of your “circumstances”…

      1.  Be intentional.

-If you haven’t “done the deed” in a couple of weeks, or even a couple days….It’s time! Set a time for yourself, and be intentional about doing it (no pun intended;). You see, if you don’t make it intentional, there will always be something that comes up. Maybe start with sexy (that’s relative;) text messages while he’s at work, or make a tempting comment to him before he leaves for work. That way, when he gets home, that “one thing”, was all was thinking about all day, and he is ready for you! You’re welcome.

      2. Be Creative.

-Find a few ideas (i.e. movies, games, playing outside) for the kids to do at a moments notice. That way, if you and your hubby decide to “get down”, you can say, “Hey kids! Go in the den and watch a movie for about 30 minutes!” Then, you and the hubby can go in your room and lock the door. 😉 It’s not always about having sex at night. Sometimes, the day time hours just work! Don’t be afraid of the light!

      3. Spice it up.

-Change it up occasionally. Been wearing that same lingerie since you got it as a wedding gift? Time to throw away the thing, and buy a new one! New lingerie is great for spicing it up!

-Always on the bed??? Try it on the floor, or on the kitchen counter (that’s for when the kids are being babysat lol)! Don’t be afraid to try new things with your husband. Trust me, he is not thinking about the extra 15 pounds in your mid-section, or no make-up (stay tuned for my post on “Body Issues and Sex”).

      4. Never say no.

-I know certain things come up occasionally, but try to never say “no” to sex. Be available for your husband when he needs you. This has been one of my convictions for a long time now. I’ve always said, “be ready in season and out of season”. If any of ya’ll know the Bible…that’s a spoof on a subject that’s completely taken out of context, but is a great reminder to always be available for your husband. Anytime, anywhere. Shaved legs or not! Who better to satisfy him than his own wife??? Come on ladies, you know where I’m going with this!

      5. Make a resolution.

-What better time to make a new year’s resolution, than now? I mean, we did just start a new year, right? And, what better resolution than to have more sex with your husband?!? Maybe it would be a good idea (for some of you), to set two or three days or nights, a week to implement these tips (if you have kids), and to plan sex! Having kids is not for the faint of heart. There is a lot of work that goes into being a parent and caring for your kids. But, I would argue that caring for your husband is MORE important (be watching for my post on “Husbands-Your # 1 ministry”).

Just do it!

I pray that this post is encouraging to you. I realize that this is a touchy subject, and that some people (women especially), find it uncomfortable to talk about sex. That’s ok! We all struggle with certain things in marriage, and maybe this subject is something that God is growing you in. It took me years to learn these things, and I am still not perfect with them. But, just like with being a mom, sometimes the hardest parts, are the most rewarding parts (no pun intended…again. lol).

So, Just do it! Bless your husband today! God bless you on your endeavor!

Sincerely,

Z

 

 

8 thoughts on “How to have Sex when you have a house full of kids…

    1. Thank you so much! I really enjoyed your blog as well! I am very new to the blogging world, and could use all the advice I can get! :) Any tips or suggestions, would be great! Thanks!-Z
      1. Oh wow! Thank you! That means a lot coming from a pro like you! Dang! I’ve been doubting myself a little bit this week. Thank you for the encouragement!
  1. I struggle with your 4th point, never say no. You imply that if the wife did say no for some reason it gives the husband permission to have an affair. A marriage goes both ways and each gives 100% to the other. If a wife for any reason does not feel like she wants to engage in sex she has the right to say so without any concern that her husband may go elsewhere for those needs. Be careful when you post this idea because there are a lot of women in abusive relationships and this idea that they need to answer to their husband sexually when they want it is difficult for those women. This philosophy does not allow them to stand up for themselves and as an equal in the marriage relationship. Desire or not the husband needs to give his wife the ability to have a say in sex just as he does.
    1. Hi Idziuk! Thanks for your honesty. Although I understand your point, I just want to make clear, that I don't mean to offend anyone. Any post that I post, is only my opinion. It may not apply to every marriage. I merely want to relate with people that may need encouragement in their marriage. Again, thank you so much for your input! -Z

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